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April 1

Coles Huge 1st Quarter Loss Spurs a New ‘Innovative Line” of Products

Posted by on April 1, 2015 at 8:36 AM

The Supermarket battle between Coles and Woolies has seen the clash of two grocery giants fight it out continuously for market share. Australians spend $59.45 billion every year within the two stores according to a Roy Morgan Analysis released in February 2014. However, recent scandals have caused Coles to lose significant amounts of business to Woolies.

Coles Huge 1st Quarter Loss Spurs a New ‘Innovative Line” of Products

Coles in September 2014 were banned from advertising fresh bread for three years after court ruled the bread was anything but. They have since been requested by the ACCC to display a corrective notice to all customers, ouch. On top of this Woolies has been applauded by the RSPCA for phasing out caged eggs and meats associated with animal cruelty, again doing heavy damage to Coles’ profit margins. In light of all these recent knocks, Coles has taken the intriguing step of coming up with a new ‘Innovative Line’ of products to try and regain market share. Many of which we suspect will leave customers rather perplexed.


To try and jump-start Coles’ profit margins back to the healthy figures of early 2014, the supermarket giant has today decided to launch a range of new products under their ‘Innovative Line’ to try and kick-start business and impress shareholders.


Fruit and Veg

The first product under this new line that will be available within the fruit and veg section is their new line of pre-peeled bananas. In efforts to compete with Woolies ugly fruit campaign Coles states they have their own answer.

Coles believes there is a gap in the market for customers who want quick and easy access to their banana wherever they are, without having to worry about leaving rotting skin lying around.

In efforts to try and become more eco-friendly Coles is also donating all banana skins to local partners (produce farmers) to contribute to their compost heaps to help them grow more product for Coles stores.

Coles Huge 1st Quarter Loss Spurs a New ‘Innovative Line” of Products



Coles Huge 1st Quarter Loss Spurs a New ‘Innovative Line” of has released facts and figures about mental health and mood disorders across Australia and its more common than initially thought. One in five (20%) of Australians aged 16-85 experience mental illnesses in any year. Depression has the third highest burden of all diseases in Australia (13.3%) and in some instances this can be related to weather changes.

Sunshine has been directly linked to reducing depression and a study conducted on individual suffers in dark eastern European countries with little sunshine showed great results when exposed to the sun.

As summer draws to a close Coles will be introducing within its ‘Innovative Line’ a new range of canned sunshine products to areas of Australia with the lowest sunny days recorded (namely Victoria and Tasmania). The first to hit the shelves will be Florida Sunshine, taken directly from Pompano beach, Florida. Initially started as a souvenir, their success has caused our grocery giant to begin importing the product to help fight depressed Australians.


Sport: Golf Accessory

Coles Huge 1st Quarter Loss Spurs a New ‘Innovative Line” of ProductsThe Australian Bureau of Statistics releases a report ever 5 years on the Australian population and recent trends an increasing proportion of older people. Tena conducted a study that proved bladder weakness was more prevalent than arthritis, anxiety and asthma.

Coles believe that the aging population of Australia has presented a gap in the market where its UroClub will sell well. The UroClub allows senior citizens to discreetly relieve themselves while on the golf course, when the clubhouse is just that little too far away for comfort.

Coles wants to help senior citizens avoid the discomfort of wearing senior nappies and instead use its UroClub as a portable urinal of sorts when out on the golf course.

Coles Huge 1st Quarter Loss Spurs a New ‘Innovative Line” of Products


BBQ Accessories

Coles Huge 1st Quarter Loss Spurs a New ‘Innovative Line” of ProductsFuel prices across the world have plummeted due to over supply of oil and with the increasing cost of living in Australia; Coles want to help you tackle your energy bills in smarter way. Now you can save energy and time when cooking your dinner by doing it as you drive home from work.

No coal, wood or other fuels are required and each and every time you refill your car with fuel, you can feel confident that you’ll have hundreds of miles of cooking time at your disposal. Coles are launching an Exhaust Grill cooker for burgers, which plugs right into the end of your exhaust pipe.

The concept of cooking whilst driving is believed by the supermarket giant as a great way to kill two birds with one stone. The heat from the exhaust cooks your burger as you drive home from its stores, leaving customers feeling confident that they’ll have a meal ready as soon as they climb out of the car.

Coles Huge 1st Quarter Loss Spurs a New ‘Innovative Line” of Products

We cant help feeling baffled by some of these product choices from the supermarket giant, however, today being the launch day lends itself to certain ideologies associated with this time of year.

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